Leadership: What it's not

People associate numerous characteristics with being a good leader, being loud, extroverted, "confident", bossy and so on. This often has people who feel like they don't embody these characteristics and are quieter, reserved and maybe even shy, feeling like they would never make a good leader; which is not true. Do not take the bait we are all required to lead one way or another; whether that is leading ourselves, a group project or our family, we must all have an idea on how to do it. Leadership is complex and can be challenging to define with so many different leadership styles, but one thing that helps is looking at what good leadership isn't and going from there.

Good leadership is not about the space you occupy. Leadership is not synonymous with seniority or hierarchy in a company or organisation. Imagine we equated being the President or Prime Minister of a country with being a good leader. Yes, they are in a leadership position, but are they functioning as good leaders? Sometimes people occupy a position of power/leadership and prove themselves incompetent or simply just power-hungry motivated by self-ambition rather than the overall mission. So being in a leadership position is not enough; we also need to invest in being good leaders. This will look different depending on the person and position, but it's something to be concerned with and grow in. How can we serve our subordinates well in positions of leadership? Sometimes serving well is to realise you are currently not equipped for the role, stepping down and taking time to develop yourself in that area.

Good leadership is not something you can think yourself into. Merely thinking you are a leader does not make you a leader. Michael Jordan was not the greatest because he thought he was; he had to become the greatest. For him, this looked like learning, practising, failing and growing over and over again. Many people have not even read an article on leadership, yet they think they are good leaders. We can't adopt the ideals of leadership we have picked up during our imprint phase (the sponge stage of life where the primary source of information comes from family, school, etc.). Leadership has to be learnt as it's continually evolving, so we have to change with it.

Good leadership is not about telling people what to do. Now and then, I meet people that say they are good leaders. I quickly learn that their idea of leadership is telling people what to do. Treating their team as a dumping ground, "I don't want to do it, so I will just pass it on". The term "leading by example" is a bit outdated for them. The, do as I say, not as I do leaders. Leadership will always come with an element of delegating, but it's not so you can avoid doing work. Even as a leader, you are still part of the team.

Good leadership is not reserved for confident extroverts. Growing up, I believed leadership was only for the loud and outspoken. I would look at someone I perceived as confident and thought 'leader', often even looking to them to lead during school activities and projects. Sign, how young and naive. As a shy 'introvert', I believed that I was not a leader and couldn't occupy such a role. I have learnt the opposite to be true. We must all lead one way or another; I mean, we all have to lead ourselves. Parents have to lead their children. Christians believe men should lead their families. A 12-year-old can be confident, but that does not make them a good leader. While confidence and personality type determine the type of leader you will be, they do not make you a good one.

Good leadership is not about keeping a distance between you and the people around you. A woman's football coach was once asked what the worst leadership advice she ever received was. She replied, "being told to keep my distance from the team". In a world where we promote and glorify "self-made" success, we are told that leaders must not get too close to people, work everything out alone and always look strong. Even in leading our own lives, we are sometimes told not to need people, that the road to success is best travelled alone throwing terms like “independent boss babe” around. But this is not true. Some vulnerability is good and can gain the confidence and respect of the people around you. It’s okay to ask for help and be open about your experiences, human beings long for connection in this way.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this post and were able to reflect on some of the points. These are just a few things that came to mind when I was thinking about what leadership isn’t. What are some things you think of when you think of what leadership isn’t?

Peace and Love

Heike Faith :)